fresh horse pictures

That may have been mis-leading. I don't have any pictures of horses, fresh or otherwise.

But I do have these.

Daddy/daughter time.

Boy, crabbing.

Driveway Drinks with the neighbours. On the beach

Neigh.

where are my words when I need them?

Thinking about words.

Today, Eden asks
If you were invited to a birthday party and the party-thrower had an open mic ready for you to say some of your favourite words, which ones would you choose?

Being totally egocentric, I started by thinking of words for me.

My favourite 'life' quote?
Life's too short to eat brown bananas.

My favourite poem?
i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)
eecummings

an amazing TV quote?

Then I re-read Edens' post. NOT about me.

So, Eden, this is for you. I don't know if you like Coldplay but today these lyrics seem to fit.

Happy birthday.

When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
So she ran away in her sleep
Dreamed of para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Every time she closed her eyes

When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
And the bullets catch in her teeth

Life goes on
It gets so heavy
The wheel breaks the butterfly
Every tear, a waterfall
In the night, the stormy night
She closed her eyes
In the night, the stormy night
Away she'd fly.

And dreamed of para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise

She dreamed of para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise

So lying underneath those stormy skies.
She said oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.
I know the sun must set to rise.

This could be para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
This could be para- para- paradise
Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.

UPDATE: turns out that song is about me, too. Happy birthday anyway, Eden. Kick 40s' arse.

my back is owned by a 6 foot miner

Edens' Fresh Horses brigade post this week is, for me, a bit of a curious one. Because for me, it's two different posts.

I do see signs, and I do feel like someones' got my back, but it aint the same thing.

I don't believe I have a guardian angel. Note, I'm not saying I don't think they exist. I just don't think there's one watching over me. And the only people I can think of who might be interested in the job are still alive, thank God.

The signs I see tend to be more like street signs or roadblocks in life.
Sometimes no matter how much I want something I cannot make it happen. It feels like the weight of the world is piled up behind the door and I can ... NOT... PUSH... it....... open.....

... which I take as a sign that it's not meant to happen.

And other times, I feel like I've waltzed through that open door, and the lights are on and the room is warm, and the table is all set and the food is waiting... you know?
When things are right, they're really RIGHT. Even if you have to work hard to get there, it feels do-able. It's a SIGN.

For whatever reasons, I've almost my whole life felt that I could never rely on anyone but myself. And yes, I've let me down plenty but it never hurts as much as when I've stood on tiptoe, holding my breath and hoping, only to be dropped and broken by someone else.

When my man and I got married, we had already been Best Friends for 11 years. Not romantically involved, but true friends.

We knew each other inside and out.
We knew we could trust each other, in the Big Things and the Little Things, and if you're married? you know they are often the same.

We're in this together, two parts that make a much bigger Whole.

We never speak poorly of each other to anyone, not even in an off-hand way at work or down the pub or to friends.
We never look sideways.
We never put each other down, we never belittle each other.
We won't allow anyone else to speak rudely to or of each other either, especially not our children.

We build each other up, he cherishes me (which is just as well, because he DID promise to) and I obey him (even though he says I don't) and shockingly, he loves me even when I blog about him.

No matter what happens, no matter what we're up against, we're a team. He's got my back. And I've got his.

I'm sorry I'm sorry

*taking a deep breath*

Edens' Fresh Horses Brigade tonight is a stunner. (they all have been)

Edens' post -- What else should I be? all apologies.

Took my breath away, seriously.

Because -- I reckon I've used about 98% of those at some point, or at least thought them.

Seems I was born sorry. I apologise for everything. It drives my husband crazy.

I scrunch myself down when I have to brush past people, to take up less room. I say sorry when someone steps on my foot. I stop peeing in a public toilet so I don't bother the person in the next cubicle.

I have even said sorry for saying sorry so goddamn much!

I used to think I was a serial apologist, but since my husband pointed it out, I see women doing this every day.
We were crossing a busy street last week, and a very pregnant lady who was maybe 10 feet away from my husband DUCKED and said "Sorry!" to him. For what? crossing the street? taking up so much room with her tummy?

It's weird. Why do we do this?

Men don't apologise. They walk where they want, take the last cake, fart and scratch and pee as loudly as they like.

Why do so many of us feel like we have to say sorry all the time? is it ingrained into women by society? is it some kind of get-along-at-all-costs community-building thing? is it a lack of self-confidence?

Tell me what you think.

why I blog. More Fresh Horses.

I first started blogging back in .... ohhhhh a long time ago. 2008.

I was living in a horrible place, far away from my sisters, and I kept forgetting who I'd told about that cute thing the kids said and my sisters were getting all up in my face about it.

So I started the blog just so I could keep everyone up to date with mummy milestones and photos.

Somehow I stumbled across a few bloggers who actually wrote, and it was like a light went on. I could CONNECT! with PEOPLE!! who THOUGHT!!! and didn't need their dinner cut up for them!!!!

Let me tell ya, for a lonely woman living in Dreary Town in the desert, the Internet was like manna from Heaven. (Whatever manna is.)

I found Sleepless Nights, and Wanderlust, and Maxabella, and suddenly I had a community at my fingertips.
I had ideas and perspectives presented to me, some of which changed my attitudes. Through those few starter blogs, I found more and more women, some just like me, some very different, all of us living and learning and looking to connect.

On my own blog, I had to consider seriously how I would present myself, what I would talk about and where I would draw the line. I still mess that up from time to time, but I try to keep things as real as possible under some fairly serious constraints. Because of exes and other assorted crap, a lot of what goes on in my life has to stay under the radar. Some of it would hurt others, some of it would probably cause us endless drama.
I came up with my tagline -- the stuff I would tell you over coffee -- and I try to keep that as my guideline. I don't know you very well. If I wouldn't tell you this face-to-face, maybe I shouldn't broadcast it over the net?

Right now, there's a lot going on that involves my kids and step-kids. I can't talk about that here, and for some reason, that keeps me from faffing on about other stuff. I feel blocked. The words I can't say are damming the words I could.

Many, many times I've thought about shutting the blog down. Usually after I read some stellar post by one of my favourites, and I think, FUCK I am NEVER going to be able to write like that.

And always, someone I never knew was there will say, OH! I read your blog every day, and I love it. Don't stop.

I'm stunned and humbled, every time. (also amazed)

I think women are community builders by nature. We support and encourage one another, to build stronger and better places.
I know there's a lot of bitching that goes on elsewhere on the net, but I never see it. I purposefully avoid the sites that promote that behaviour, and try not to get caught up in controversy.
Because I want to see the best in the people I read. I want to hear how they're growing, what they're learning, I want to be stunned by their truth and be cheering for them as they move on.
I want to be inspired and awed and welcomed.

And I get that, every day.

If you want to join this meme, call over to Eden's place, and link up. You'll find some good reading if you follow the comments through, as well.
And here are my latest loves...
Gappy Tales sarcasm served smokin' hot
Writing Without Pay Jayne should be paid. Lots.
Mum On The Run Shar is gorgeous, even if she does make me feel like a complete sloth.

fresh horses

So Eden has a meme. And it's called Edens' Fresh Horses Brigade. Which, even if you've never heard of Eden (what, you've been living under a rock?) should tell you, this is no ordinary meme.

Today, we're showing something very personal, very unique, very special. Hand-writing.

Go on, check it out. You know you want to.