Have you put on weight?
My mum didn't make it like this. You can't even get out of this by saying "Yours is MUCH better!" because if your mum finds out, you're dead.
I accidentally taped over our wedding DVD.
That's really not your colour, is it?
I bought you a cookbook. Unless it's personally signed by Manu.
I bought you a lawnmower.
I had lunch with my old girlfriend today.
Anniversary? Today? Really?
Birthday? Today? Really?
Why can't your mum stay at a hotel?
So, what did you do all day?
Well, I married you, didn't I?
Things To Never Say To Your Husband
NEVER ask "Do I look fat in this?"
Note to husbands -- if your wife asks this quesion, do NOT say "Yes", or "Not in that, no." , or hesitate for even a split second while you think about it. In fact, if your wife springs this question on you, it's probably best to pass out on the floor as a distraction.
Why don't you just stop and ask for directions!?
Are you sure you know how to do that?
Do you think she's pretty?
I'll try anything once! Because unless you really, really, really mean it, you're going to crush his hopes!