Tuesday, August 31, 2010

best part, worst part

When we watch a movie, we always do 'best part, worst part' - like 'best part' of The Princess Bride is
or possibly -- "I want my father back, you son of a bitch!" STAB!

Anyway, in the interests of blogging I'm applying the theory to my day. So far. Because it's only 9:30 am.

I have a festery splinter in the most useful finger I own. NO not the RUDE finger! the pointer one. The one I use to do everything with (except complain. I use the RUDE finger to complain.)
I got the splinter yesterday from firewood, and I can't dig it out, and it hurrrrrrrrts - maybe not like having a baby or ripping a nail clean off, but still.
And the only Band-aid I could find in the doctor bag is a bright pink Barbie Band-aid.
I'll leave it to you to decide which is the worst part of that little scenario. Because it all depends on how you rate the sight of a 45 year old woman wearing Barbie Band-aids. If you can even tell what kind it is. I'm not wearing my glasses so to me, it looks like a hot pink blur.

The best part is that I also found Magnoplasm in the doctor bag AND it wasn't past its' expiry date!

Sunday, August 29, 2010

cool stuff I've seen lately

1. a tea-bag rocket!

Ahhhh, tea. Is there anything you can't do??

I 'saw' this the other day when I dropped the chainsaw off to be serviced. As a mum of boys, who own a 3 foot deep drift of Lego pieces, I was immediately fascinated!

3. Coolest Tshirt -- want want want....

4. WICKED red dress....

(Yes, I know that officially, liking this dress makes me a geek)

5. Best. Opening. Sequence. EVER.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

August Chronicles

If you haven't seen the Fridge Chronicles yet, hop over here for a tick
I'll wait, I have a magazine.....
Cool idea, huh?

K -- here is my fridge for August.


(can you guess which of these pictures was drawn by the 8 year old boy, and which one by the 5 year old Princess? PLUS -- check out the deets on that pirate -- LOVE the wooden leg!)

The Boys' excursion notes:
(when did he go from being a little boy to being a kid that can write his own excursion notes??)

and POSSIBLY millions of dollars (well, you never know! that's why I haven't checked it -- it would destroy the dream...)

Plus on the freezer we have this masterpiece by -- guess which child?

You see, THAT'S the difference between boys and girls, right there!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Monday, August 23, 2010

I did it!

Today, I joined the gym!
Been putting it off for a couple of reasons, many of them having to do with my wallet.... and to be honest, I wasn't looking forward to coming face-to-face with the dreaded vital statistics. But it wasn't as bad as I feared.
I need to lose less than 10 kilos to be looking the way I think I should (GymBoss says 6, I say a bit more than that but we'll see)
Apart from losing some weight, I really need to do something about my flabby bits and my knees. They make a horrible ratcheting sound whenever I bend them, which seriously makes people flinch and pull that OMG face. I'm hoping that building up my inner thighs will help to strengthen the old knees (plus, you know, hubs is hoping for some side benefits!)

I'm going to Curves, which I've been to before in DesertCity, and I LOVED it. Loved the support, loved there being no mirrors and no men, and loved the feeling of empowerment I got from taking control of my body.
Feels good to be me some days.

Friday, August 20, 2010

SO tempting... but no, thanks.

Spam can be (unintentionally) funny.

melancholy Julian with Victuals and Deuterium oxide you can existent a a-ok life. I paragon in the first really, it's august so log a come to pass on and ry it, do it in this light of day!
Mini Chill? contains a not discrepant intermix of herbs and amino acids called Relarian?, that has been proven, in published clinical trials not unique to not unexpectedly varying stress and intimation, but to in factually ameliorate your intuition round and bring about noetic chance on! Mini Polar doesn?t messenger drowsiness, so whether you?re in the bull's-eye of a stressful hour at manipulate or enjoying a full view off the mark with your friends, Mini Chill? is guaranteed to refurbish your day.

So tempting. I'd love my intuition ameliorated, and of course, an a-ok life is something I've long aspired to.
But I think I'll stick with Jose Cuervo. Me and him, we go way back.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

in the olden days...

The Princess was pondering the invention of toast.

"Mum!" she said. "Did they have fires in the olden days?"

"Yes, sweetpea," I said.

"And did they have bread?"

"Ummm.... I think so."

"Well. I think I know how they made toast. They left the bread next to the fire!"

Not being one to miss an opportunity for a Mother Nag, I said "Well, I hope they were being careful not to burn themselves."

She slapped her hands onto my cheeks and stared me accusingly in the eyes.
"Mum! You know all about the olden days! You were IN them!"

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

I dare you....

.... to watch this without crying. I can't. The look on the little girls' face in the first few seconds has me in tears right away.

Monday, August 16, 2010

something beautiful to start the week

I absolutely love the photographer, Rodney Smith. He does some really quirky pics of bowler-hatted men or women in ball gowns in odd settings, and I could happily own almost any of them.
These, however, are the ones that took my fancy today. I'm in the mood for pretty and romantic!

Enjoy your day.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

what a way to start the day

7 am. I crawl out of bed. I am not awake but I am moving. Check the fire, throw in some wood. Stagger to the kitchen, flick on the kettle, throw coffee and milk in a cup, boot up the laptop. Make coffee. Scratch kids out of bed. I am still not awake.
7:15. Try to make the children eat breakfast. Thing One wants toast with butter and nothing else. Thing Two wants WeetBix with hot water and milk. No, NutriGrain. No, WeetBix.
They also have a mug of milk. I look at the empty carton and realise I will have to go into town before I can have a second cup of coffee. Later, I will look at the half-empty mugs of milk and wish I had given them juice.
7:30. I stare at the screen, catching up on Facebook and blogs, and drink coffee.
7:45. Almost awake. Tell the children to get dressed. Tell them again. Resort to telling them to put on each individual item. Nag about the socks many times.
Ask Thing One why she is not wearing her shoes yet?
She can't find them.
Hunt for the shoes.
Eventually find one in the laundry basket and one under the sofa. Consider asking how this happened but regain my senses and think better of it.
8 am. Make lunches. Hunt for lunchboxes, freezy blocks, cloths to wrap freezy blocks in so they don't wet everything, and waterbottles.
Try to remember that Thing Two won't eat butter, Thing One won't eat peanut butter, Thing Two cannot possibly eat anything from a pink lunchbox (or that has even touched a pink lunchbox) in case he turns into a girl, Thing One likes MAN SANDWICHES (uncut).
Scratch out a treat for recess and throw in an apple each, even though I know they will come home uneaten, in a vague attempt to deny the mother-guilt a foothold.
8:10. Begin the "get your school-bags please" nag. Repeat for 10 minutes, before discovering that Thing Two has a slight lactose intolerance and the mug of milk has sent him to the loo. Now REALLY wishing I had given him juice.
Pack the bags myself, with lunchbags, library bags, communication folder, hats, water bottles, and other assorted necessities. Try desperately to remember the thing I know I've forgotten.
8:25. Look at Thing Ones' hair in despair. Fetch the spray bottle, comb, elastics and clips. Sit her down in front of ABC3 and proceed to torture the child by combing out knots. She screams for most of it. Then we argue about what hairstyle she should have today. Fix the hair so it's neat and tidy and will hopefully stay lice-free.
8:35. Glance at the clock in horror and begin the laborious task of getting the children and their bags into the car. Go back in twice for things we've forgotten. Eventually, we leave.

We arrive at school in one piece, though somewhat harried. Thing Two races off to class, and Thing One and I sit on the mat and do puzzles until 8:55. Then we spend a few minutes with me trying to get away leave without traumatising the poor child. Finally I lie and tell her that I will wait in the car, in the car-park, all day, and I won't go home without her. Feel ashamed for lying but also desperate to escape.

9:10. Arrive back home to a peaceful, quiet house. Begin to feel relax and unwind -- then remember that I still have to go get the damn milk!

I am so NOT a morning person.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

letter to my man

Hello my love.

You've been gone for 10 days now, and it's forever before you come home again.

I'm not lonely, really, but I sure do miss you.

It's so nice to Skype you at night, even though I don't talk much cos I'm all the time looking at your gorgeous face and wondering how in the world I ever got so lucky. You are the best thing that ever happened to me and I'm a bit lost without you here.

Stay safe and hurry home?

your girl

Friday, August 6, 2010

right turn

Life is funny. But not always in an amusing way.

Yesterday, as I walked in the door after picking up my little kids from school, I got a text message from my 17 yo at boarding school.
Someone was loose at his school with a gun. All the boarding school kids had been mustered back to the college and locked down. They were all OK.

This is my child. Hours away, in the care of strangers.
I rang him on his mobile and reassured myself that he was fine, and safe, but it felt completely bizarre for me to be sitting in my home, with no gun-men in sight, while my little boy (who is 6 feet tall) was locked up for safety.

And I started to think about how, with absolutely no warning, your life can take a sharp right turn, and set you on a road that you never thought you would walk on. Babies can go to sleep and not wake up, on an otherwise totally normal day. Phones can ring with news of illness, accidents and deaths. Partners can walk out one day and just never come back.
This illusion we have, that we have some control over our lives and what happens to us -- it's a lie. The reality is, things can happen with no warning at all. And when they do, you'd better have someone to help you through. Because we can't always do it on our own.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010


Hands up if you read The Bloggess
If you don't, go take a look. But not right now, because you will start reading everything she has and forget to come back here. Oh, and be warned -- you will almost certainly be shocked at some point, and you will almost certainly laugh till coffee shoots out of your nose, so don't drink and read.

Anyway -- yesterday, on The Bloggess, I came across this video link.
This is a truly beautiful poem, How To Be Alone by Tanya Davis.
No, really -- watch.

I love being alone. For days at a time.
I love when the kids have gone to school, and the house is quiet, with no-one around but me; no TV or chatter, just me.
I love the nights when all I can hear are the waves on the beach, and frogs and crickets and cicadas in the summertime.
I love walking around town on my own, looking and not looking, shopping or not, just being and not worrying about anyone or anything.
I don't like crowds or hustle, they make me feel small and lost. I don't like The Big Smoke. I like Beachtown. I love my friends but I love being by myself.

But I still miss Fabio.

Monday, August 2, 2010

I am not a geek. Honest.

OK, I admit I would LOVE to go to one of those sci-fi conventions - and yeah I would totally love to wear a costume and a wig and be utterly outrageous -- but I would be found out and lasered into stardust in 30 seconds flat because I don't speak Klingon (tho I can do that Vulcan salute thingy)
But I'm not actually much of a sci-fi fan. Honest.
There are at least 2 Star Wars movies I haven't seen (tho I watched every second of the one Ewan McGregor was in) and I really never got the StarGate thing. I have seen one of the Star Trek movies (as I typed that, I realised I'm really not sure if there are more than one) but only because Fabio and I found ourselves at the movies without kids, and it was Gentlemans' Choice.

But when it comes to the new Dr Who -- YEAH BABY! I'm in that TARDIS, I want a sonic screwdriver, Daleks give me the shudders, I can no longer blink in the presence of an angel statue, and I would run away with Ten in a heartbeat! (Matt Smith is looking like a run-away contender now, too. Poor Fabio.)

So I was stoked to see that Dr Who took out 6 categories in the 2010 Portal Awards

Ten took out Best Actor by a landslide, the show won best series by a landslide, and Russell T. Davies totally rocks.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

sweet sundae

Today I am sad cos my husband has left the building, and indeed the country, and will be gone for ages.
BUT I'm determined to find something good to say, and so today I am very glad that The Princess is well.
Yesterday, she had a temp and a headache, and a sore throat. When her temp is up at night, she sleepwalks (which she denies utterly) and by 'sleepwalks' I mean, she bumbles around the house muttering peculiar things and crying.
One night, she let herself out the back door and down a flight of steps, at 1 am. Good thing I was awake.
So before bed last night I dosed her on painkillers and a cold medication, and she slept right through, and today she is her usual singing happy self.