Sunday, September 18, 2011

when is your mum not your mum?

It's sort of weird, having your adult children read your blog.

Over the last lately, I've written a vibrator review, discussed my menstrual problems, and talked about the Mirena, and put up a post about my husbands' testicles that featured a naked and hairy Burt Reynolds.

And YET, they keep reading.

Yesterday, my 18 year old talked to me about the dog post from a couple of days ago, saying "I had no idea you'd been bullied like that, Mum."
Well, no. Admittedly that was a story that I didn't think would ever see the light of day.

However, I started thinking about parents and their adult kids.
I think it comes as a bit of a surprise to most kids when they realise that Mum and Dad didn't spring miraculously into being at the moment of the childs' birth -- that they were, in fact, people with lives and thoughts and experiences that had nothing at all to do with the said child.

I've been wondering how my kids see me, as a person, rather than as Mum, who used to sing hideous opera-like songs to get them out of bed in the mornings and who gushed over glitter paint and paddle-pop stick art like it was the Mona Lisa.

Do they like me? Do they think my opinions are valid, or are they simply waiting, as my eldest son puts it, for the day a spot opens up in that dodgy Old Peoples' Home he saw on 60 Minutes?

Am I an actual person to them, or still just Mum?


  1. Hee hee.
    It's such an interesting notion - parents as real life, actual people who may have lived and experienced what life has to offer.

    I have come to appreciate my parents as the people they are so much more since maturing (okay, aging) and especially since having my own child.

    I look back at my parents early years of marriage and am astounded by their courage, bravery and strength. I have always 'known' about the death of my older sister when I was a baby, about their legal battles following her death, about the loss of their home, about their migration to an unknown country with very little...
    but it's only now I can truly comprehend what amazing people they are and how the traumas of their past have shaped them.
    Now I 'get' why my birthday was torture for my Mum (it's the day before my late sister's) and am ashamed of my selfish behaviour as a child.

    Woah - sorry for the novel.
    Think you may have hit a nerve there!!

    That your children read your blog is a clear sign that they respect your opinion. That's awesome.

  2. Don't apologise for the novel, I always find your comments thoughtful and interesting!

    Your parents must be pretty special -- many marriages don't survive the loss of a child.

  3. This is quite interesting. I was recently looking through really old photos my Mum gave me of her and my dad before I was born. I was in awe of her youth and beauty (she really is a pretty thing) and I had to really try hard to imagine her as a 'person' before she became Mum. Interesting that you wrote this not long after I too was wondering this very thing, but from the child's persepctive.

  4. My children read my blog, it's certainly an honest blog!! I think it's so interesting how they view us, i get plenty of feedback!! Love Posie


Hey, thanks for taking the time to leave a comment. I love to hear what you have to say even if you disagree with me. I have only one request -- please keep it polite.